Alice

~Cuts

You run, ever further, driven by fear, a fear that always follows you,
haunting you. They know you; they know your name, what you look like, how
you think. They are following you and will not stop until they have you.
Then they will lock you away again. You know, don’t you? That’s why you run,
hide; and hope, pray that they do not find you. That perhaps you will become
invisible and they finally leave you alone. But they won’t, Alice. They
won’t let you be. You were a bad girl, Alice. You killed one of them. You
shouldn’t have done that. They hurt you like a deer; you are just as
helpless and powerless. They will get you anyways, why are you even
bothering? Why are you running? They are your friends, Alice. They only want
to help. You know you were a bad girl. You know you must be punished. That
is only right. They only want the best for you, Alice. You are sick. You
know there is no Wonderland, don’t you? Why do you always talk about it,
Alice?
It was only a dream. A dream you had as a small child. Be a good girl Alice,
be good.
Come back. Back to them, back to us. Weren’t you happy? Your friends are
there, your family, your parents.
They only want what’s best for you, Alice. It’s not good for you to believe
in Wonderland because it doesn’t exist. They worry about you, Alice. Worry
you will hurt yourself again. Worry that you will harm them. Oh yes, Alice,
they are afraid of your, terrified. You were a bad girl, Alice. You remember
the looks they gave you, don’t you? Full of fear and disgust. Insane.
Insane, insane, insane. They know it, you know it and I know it. Is it worth
living for?  Is it worth it? Tell me, Alice!
You could go straight back to them. They would understand, wouldn’t they?
No? Nobody understands you? Poor, poor Alice.
You’re so alone, all alone. Nobody likes you; no one wants to play with you?
Nobody?
Look at yourself Alice. Don’t you see? You’ve been a bad girl Alice. Nobody
likes bad, crazy girls. Nobody.
But they want to help you. They want to make you a normal, kind girl again.
That can’t happen if you block yourself from it by not going back to them.
They can help you. What, no one can help you? No, perhaps not. You’re
already insane. Yes, insane. Insane, insane, insane. You’re insane Alice.
What’s the point of it all? Nothing. Your life is worth nothing. Who would
want to live with an insane person?
You’re in the way Alice.
You don’t belong in this perfect world. There’s no place for you here. Your
place is somewhere else, deep under. Under the earth, where only worms
abide. Where they can bore through your soft flesh and devour you. Do you
have any reason to live Alice? Do you? Do you have anything holding you on
to this life? Anything? Friends? Family? Dreams? Love?
You don’t? Why are you here then Alice? What’s the point? There is no point,
and you know it. You could end it so easily, Alice. This time once and for
all. Those wounds are still so fresh. It wouldn’t hurt to open them again,
would it?  It doesn’t hurt, believe me.
Why should it? It’s the best thing you can do. You don’t want them to win,
do you? Do you?
No? I thought so, Alice. Why don’t you listen to me? It’s the correct thing
for you to do, believe me. Have I ever lied to you? Have I ever given you a
reason not to trust me? Trust me, Alice, there is no other way. You have to
do it. Does it cost you so much? It costs you nothing you would miss. Your
miserable, worthless life. It is worth anything, is it?
You see. I told you it was for the best. The solution is right in front of
you. You see how it sparkles in the streetlights? It’s so pure, so clean and
sharp. Only one small cut…
Good girl. You understand, right Alice?
Doesn’t it feel good in your hand? It’s not thick, just beautifully smooth.
You see how sharp it is. Do you already feel it on your soft skin? Don’t you
miss the feeling of it slitting your flesh open?
Only one cut. I don’t ask for more, just one cut, and it will be over. Then
you’ve made it. Yes….that’s good. Just one single  movement and you’ve done
it. Only one cut.

Special thanks to Angie for the translation!!!