Unborn

The wind is blowing through my hair, swinging the cradle

I am holding the baby I left unborn in my arms

Cradle her, holding her, guarding her, loving her

I did not kill her, I gave her a chance

The chance on a better life, a real life, any life

She wouldn’t have found it here

My skin would have been cool and she would never have found any warmth

I love her and that’s why I let her go

Before I ever saw her

It’s shattering me thinking about it but I know I did the right thing

I am holding my baby, holding her tight and cradling her

Imagining how it would hae been for the thousandth time

And cry

Cry, cry, cry

I let her go, let her fly

Another little angel, so innocent and pure

Life itself taints her

I let her unborn and she’ll stay like this

Until she gets another chance

A chance on a new life, a chance on a real life

I konw I did the right thing. I had to let her go

Not for me but for her. I couldn’t have done this to her

Never let her live here. What kind of live would she have had?

With a humen like me?

I saw and did many bad things but I am not a bad person

That’s why I let her fo ‘cause I love her

Nobody deserves to be pushed in a life like this

Unprotected in a world which taints, tortures, makes sick and kills

Kills the soul, the being and in the end the life

How could I have been this cruel?

Why does nobody understand it?

Why am I a cruel, hertless, evil human now?

Because I did not want my baby to suffer? Am I evil ‘cause of this?

Killer, baby-killer, bitch, whore, dirt, murderer, murderer, murderer

I gave her a new chance and I hope she’ll take it

I hope it so much my heart bleeds

I love you do you understand? I could not let it happen

I don’t want to happen the same thing to you

Muderer, murderer, murderer.

They are shouting in my head and I am screaming. But I did the right thing

I am a lot of things but I am not a bad person

I hope you’ll understand some day. Love is a complicated thing

I love you and I am sure you love me, too

‘cause you are visiting me every night, wiping away my tears and letting me credle you

My baby, my dream, my hope, my daught who will never be born